Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Christopher was running, gasping and half-crazed with fear. He fell to the ground, tripped by a plank in the road and lay there without the will or the strength to get up, as fear and sorrow leeched them both away.
As he lay there trying to scream, someone grabbed his arm and started running, pulling him along. He looked up and saw his father! Then a new sound assailed him. He looked back and saw the King's Guard chasing them. He could hear their boots pounding the worn pavement, their bloodstained sabres slapping and clanking in their sheaths.
Now he screamed and a strength he never knew he had surged through him. His father pulled him into an alley and after several sharp turns he dodged into a deserted shack. As they climbed up into the loft they heard the Guard searching, their voices muffled by the smog and thick night air.
"Christopher!" his father was saying, "I most likely will not live through this night." Christopher could not find words to voice his sorrow so his father went on. "Pay attention! Take this letter and this box." With that he handed Christopher a small puzzle box and a sealed envelope. "But Christopher," his father said, "if these fall into the hands of Count Damien you are doomed."
As he started to say something else they heard a shot. Christopher's father slumped over dead.
As he lay there trying to scream, someone grabbed his arm and started running, pulling him along. He looked up and saw his father! Then a new sound assailed him. He looked back and saw the King's Guard chasing them. He could hear their boots pounding the worn pavement, their bloodstained sabres slapping and clanking in their sheaths.
Now he screamed and a strength he never knew he had surged through him. His father pulled him into an alley and after several sharp turns he dodged into a deserted shack. As they climbed up into the loft they heard the Guard searching, their voices muffled by the smog and thick night air.
"Christopher!" his father was saying, "I most likely will not live through this night." Christopher could not find words to voice his sorrow so his father went on. "Pay attention! Take this letter and this box." With that he handed Christopher a small puzzle box and a sealed envelope. "But Christopher," his father said, "if these fall into the hands of Count Damien you are doomed."
As he started to say something else they heard a shot. Christopher's father slumped over dead.
11 Comments:
I must say I'm very impressed. You've got me hooked. :) I'll be visiting back to see what happens next! Well done.
Gripping...I'll be back as well, you have drawn me in.
Great writing, better than I remember from my college writing class.
Wow!!
I read this out loud to my older boys, aged 13, 12, and 8. They are looking forward to hearing more, just like I am.
Well done.
A captivating story - which has intrigue and excitement.
Eager to find out more.
Congratulations to both you and your sister - a splendid piece of writing that has captured my imagination.
Fantastic prologue to your story girls.
Looking forward to reading it as it is posted.
Mel
I'm beyond impressed. If this is how you're writing at this young age...well, I can't even imagine what you'll be doing when you grow up! You've hooked your reader from the beginning. I'm a published author myself, and I think this is great! I'm looking forward to more!
Hey! This is Emily!(Your sister Kaitlyns penpal!) I just wanted to say hi! :-)
brilliant =)
I love the story.I am looking forward to more.I am also writing one myself.
Just a wee poem - as a little treat
for your sponsored walk.
Title: Smelly People
Uncle Oswald smells of tobacco
Aunt Agatha smells of rope
Cousin Darren smells of aeroplane glue.
Cousin Tracey smells of soap.
My mum smells of garlic and cabbage.
My dad smells of cups of tea.
My baby sister smells of sick
and my brother of TCP.
Our classroom smells of stinky socks.
Our teacher smells of Old Spice.
I wonder what I smell of?
I'll just have a sniff...
Hmmm...quite nice.
By Roger Stevens
Great writing, girls! Very impressive.
Post a Comment
<< Home